Dante's Inferno

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Welcome to diabolical Episode 666, starring the devilish Dante and his two subjects Pearl and Ruby. The girls play a game of Strip Jingo Blast. I haven’t used the game of Jingo since Episode 009 because I thought it took too long, so this time we tried Jingo Blast, which has a hidden timer that knocks the tower down after an unknown period of time. (I’m not really thrilled with this version either since I think it turned out to be mostly luck, but maybe I can think of a rule variant to make it work.)

In keeping with the number-of-the-beast theme, the loser of this game loses HER IMMORTAL SOUL. (Take a drink every time Dante booms HER IMMORTAL SOUL, and you’ll be nicely sloshed by the end.) Once the game is over, there’s a flash of light, a whiff of brimstone, and Dante’s true form is revealed as Satan himself. The loser goes down to her knees to give the devil his due, blowing him until he’s close to a vile orgasm. He finishes by jacking off into a shot glass, and after a healthy dash of hot sauce is added to simulate the unbearably fiery nature of Satan’s seed, the loser has to drink it all down.

By the way, while Dante is one of our best players for witty ad-libbed banter, I have to say that I think he was a little off in this one. I could’ve done without the 9/11 trutherism jokes, for example. He also said that the Jingo tower was swaying “like a downtown crane in the wind.” Too soon! I mean, literally too soon. This game was played on March 30, 2019, fully a month before the tragic Seattle crane accident that ended four lives, which is kind of eerie, really. And what was with the bizarre attacks on the late actor John Ritter? Leave Jack Tripper alone, Dante!